You can't look me in the face and tell me you're fine.
You're not sleeping, you drink for the record.
How are those the actions of someone who knows they did the right thing?
You lied. You killed my friend.
Killing Amy was not wrong. You couldn't do it, so I did.
I can't even be around you right now.
- Might as well work with me. - Don't know if I can.
Let's try and stop the killings.
That's your stuff.
Yeah. I figured we'd take one car.
Look, you know what? You were right about Amy.
I get why you did it. You were trying to make sure no one else got hurt.
- Supernatural. - This is a book?
MAN: Books. It was a series. Didn't sell a lot of copies, though.
Chuck, I am your number one fan.
But I know Supernatural is just a book.
- Becky, it's all real. - Ha, ha. I knew it.
- You okay, lady? - Is it really you?
- Can you quit touching me? - No.
Um...
MAN: Whoo! Yeah!
KELLY: Okay, you won't believe it. People think I say it to get a bigger tip.
- Try me. - Fine.
I'm in grad school.
See? Okay, there's a look. Okay, ha, ha, stop.
- No, this is my l-dig-smart-chicks look. - Oh.
No, if they, uh, wore that, I wouldn't have dropped out of school.
[CHUCKLES]
- So, what's your deal? - My deal?
Yeah. You came in here looking like somebody shot your puppy.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, things are looking up now that your shift's over.
All right.
Uh, here's the deal. I have this friend.
He's got this younger brother, right? Cannon's a little loose.
You know, his reactor blew a while back. It's not good. Uh...
My friend, uh, he's kind of been sitting, waiting to see if he goes guano again.
- And I assume it just hit the fan. - Well, that's the thing, it didn't.
The kid's all reasonable now.
Considering he's crazy.
Well, he's... I mean, he's not crazy. He...
It's starting to seem like things might be getting better.
- Well, that's a good thing, right? - It's a miracle.
Except what happens...
...during their sacred annual pilgrimage to Vegas...
...and he goes off on some granola-munching hike...
...in the desert by himself.
Well, maybe he just needs some time alone.
- Yeah. - We all need to face ourselves sometime.
Maybe he does.
Wasn't talking about him.
[CELL PHONE CHIMING]
Excuse me.
Speak of the devil. He's four blocks away?
See? Baby bro needs you after all.
[LIGHT BUZZING]
[GUN COCKS]
Dean.
It's okay, you won't need that. Come on.
I thought you were off becoming one with the land or some crap.
No, you gotta... Come here. All right.
Yeah.
Hi.
What is this?
Apparently, uh, pink is for loyalty.
What's the pretext? What are we, wedding crashers, huh?
- We looking for some siren or what? - No. Nothing like that.
All right, um.
So a little sudden, but life is short...
...so I'll keep this shorter.
I'm in love...
...and I'm getting married.
Say something. Like congratulations, for example.
What?
["HERE COMES THE BRIDE" PLAYING ON PIANO]
What the hell?
- Becky? - Dean.
I'm so glad you're here.
Shouldn't she ask for my permission or something?
[SCOFFS]
You want her to ask for my hand?
How in the...?
- How did this happen? - Short version?
We met, we ate...
...and then talked and fell in love.
And, you know, here we are.
Yeah. I guess I'm all caught up.
That's... Okay, you know what?
Ignoring everything...
...have you forgotten the life span of your hookups?
- Yeah. But... - But if anyone knows that, it's me.
I mean, I read every book.
So open eyes, you know?
Open eyes.
I'm gonna be sick.
Dean, it's simple. If something good's happening, I gottajump on it now.
Today. Period.
Okay, Dead Poets Society. Fine.
No offense, did you make sure she's even really...?
Salt, holy water, everything.
See?
Not a monster. Just the right girl for your brother.
- Ah. - That's it.
- The bill. - I got it.
You two do your brother thing.
Do you take traveler's checks?
Really? Superfan 99?
Dean, look, heh, honest to God, I had the exact same opinion of her as you do...
...but when we got past the whole book thing...
...I found out that she's great and I was the dick.
Yeah, speaking of the whole, uh, book thing...
...Becky randomly shows up during Vegas week?
- Yeah, ha, ha. - Yeah.
Um, what are you trying to say?
I'm saying she knew you were gonna be here.
Maybe, uh, uh, Chuck wrote about it.
- You're paranoid. - And you're in love?
It's been four days, man.
You know what? Dean, you know what, um?
How about this? Becky and I are gonna go up to her place in Delaware.
Um, try and wrap your dome around this, get a little supportive...
...then give us a call.
First official tweet...
...as Mrs. Becky Rosen-Winchester.
Bobby. Hey, I know you're, uh, beard-deep in that Oregon nest.
I'm headed to Delaware to do a little snooping around.
Sam is there with his wife.
That's right, you heard me. His wife.
Call me.
[THUNDER BOOMING]
SAM: I thought we just ate. - Quick stop.
JOCELYN: Well, is that my fault?
I told you we had tickets 11 times.
BECKY: Hi, Jocelyn.
Let me call you back.
Just get a sitter, it's not calculus.
Yes, can I help you?
It's Becky. Becky Rosen.
Oh.
- Yechie Becky. - Ha.
- Long time ago. - Yechie Becky.
[LAUGHS]
[JOCELYN SIGHS]
Well, you look just the same.
I'm here to RSVP for the reunion. If it's not too late.
No. No, there is always room for one more.
Actually, it's Rosen-Winchester.
So mark me down plus one.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
Jocelyn Caruso, roasted.
- Hi, Guy. - You're back.
- How was Vegas? - It was awesome.
Really? Really? Ha, ha.
- Guy, meet my husband, Sam. SAM: Hey.
- It's an honor to meet you, Sam. - Thanks. You too.
Guy is a good friend. We met in the Erotic Horror section...
...at the Novel Hovel. - Oh, Becky, come on.
TMI.
- The poor guy's just met me. - No, it's okay. Nice to meet you.
Any friend of Becky's...
Anyway, I should, uh, get back to it or this party's not gonna happen, right?
Sure.
Guy is an event planner. Reunion season is very busy for him.
Hold on one sec.
One more thing.
- You get my message? - Of course.
I thought you'd never ask.
Give me a hug.
I swear, if everyone had a Wiccan in their pocket...
...the world would be a happier place. - It is nothing.
Blessed be, sweetie.
Wow. You look nice.
Thanks.
I was, you know, saving it.
To us.
[SAM GROANS]
[ECHOING] Sam? Are you okay?
Sammy, honey. What's wrong?
Becky? Why am l...?
What am I doing here?
[SAM GROANING]
We're celebrating, dear.
Remember?
Uh... Yeah. Yeah, of course.
To us.
Feeling better, honey?
Now that I'm with you.
[SIGHS]
[GRUNTING]
[GROANS]
[GROANING]
[DOOR BELL RINGS]
Me being supportive.
Congratulations to you and the missus.
Thanks.
It's a waffle iron.
Nonstick. You just, uh:
I don't know how to use it. Are we good?
Good, because I'm sniffing a case in this town.
Score is guy wins Powerball, gets squished by a truck.
Second guy went from the bench to the majors.
Oh, and one week later, his face was the catcher's mitt, huh?
BECKY: Our first thought was Crossroads demons...
...but there's that 10-year time frame on collecting souls.
Then there's cursed object.
Like in Bad Day at Black Rock.
But we haven't been able to connect the vics yet.
You're working this case together?
Yeah. Ha, ha, I know, right?
I mean, I guess all those Chuck Shurley books paid off.
I don't know what kind of mojo you're working...
...but believe me, I will find out. - Dean, that's my wife you're talking to.
- You're not acting like yourself. - How am I not?
You married Becky Rosen.
What are you saying? I'm a witch?
Or maybe I'm a siren?
Ever occur to you we're just, I don't know, happy?
Come on, Sam.
Guy wins the lotto...
...guy hits the bigs.
All right, obviously, people's dreams are coming true in this town.
- You think this is a bit of a coincidence? - You know what, Dean?
[BECKY SCOFFS]
What Becky and I have is real.
And if you can't accept that, that's your problem, not ours.
DEAN: Or maybe she's part of it.
Because for whatever reason, you're her dream.
If you really do care about her, I'd be worried.
Because people who do get their little fantasies or whatever...
...seem to end up dead pretty quick.
You know, I went after her, Dean. Maybe that's what's bugging you.
That I'm moving on with my life.
I mean, you took care of me, and that's great...
...but I don't need you anymore.
[BECKY SIGHS]
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]
DEAN: I don't want another hunter, Bobby. Why can't you do it?
[GROANS]
Fine.
What's his name?
SAM: Hey. Uh...
I got you a present.
His and hers fake IDs? Ha, ha.
Here. Check this out.
"Junior salesman leapfrogs to CEO at Mutual Freedom Insurance."
You think the CEO is a lead?
Uh, Becky.
This is...
...beautiful.
So, what do you think about the CEO?
Let's go pretext him.
[CHUCKLES]
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
GARTH: Hey. You Dean?
[SLURPING]
I thought you'd be taller.
I assume Bobby filled you in on the road.
He told me two things.
One, he's tangling with a major-league nest up in Oregon territory.
Numero dos, he said you'd be all surly and premenstrual working with me.
But, hey, man, sticks and stones.
I think I found a case.
Check the headline.
GARTH: First things first.
[LAUGHING]
Oh, Marmaduke, you crazy.
Are you trying to humiliate me?
It's Marsha with an S-H-A, not a C-l-A.
Thanks again.
- Hey, is that your...? - Yes.
Awkward.
Hi.
Okay.
- So? - So, uh, no point going in, guy's clean.
- You sure? - Yeah. Positive.
Becky grilled him like a pro. She's a real natural.
Oh.
What's with the scrawny guy?
Temp.
Throw a rock, hit a reporter these days, eh?
Ha, ha. Well, your story's a big deal over at the Actuarial Insider.
- Go ahead, shoot. - All right.
- Uh, how'd you get the gig? - Board came to me, asked, said yes.
- Just out of the blue? - Pretty much.
[CHUCKLES]
And any idea how the board landed on you...
...over your supervisors?
Um, they didn't say.
Tell us what specifically excited the board about your actual qualifications.
Say, fellas, what's with the third degree?
GARTH: Oh, uh, no offense.
We were just wondering if you got here by nefarious means.
Whoa, Garth.
Oh. Heh, uh...
I didn't mean, of course, uh, corporate backstabbing. I'm sorry.
I meant more like, uh, you know...
...black magic or hoodoo.
[BOTH LAUGH]
DEAN: He jokes. He's, uh, ajokester.
Let's, uh, rewind.
Why don't, uh, you tell us what it felt like when your big dream came true?
Look, on the record, it's great.
- Off the record? - It's not my big dream.
- Wait, you didn't want this job? - Hell, no.
I'm a Sales guy. I was good in Sales.
Your secretary's an idiot. I'll be at the printers this afternoon.
All right, dear. See you at dinner.
Just have the idiot make a reservation.
Here's a tip: Remind her she works for the CEO.
One more screwup, she's fired.
Your, uh, wife seems pretty stoked on the promotion, don't she?
Honestly, I've never seen her happier.
I have no idea how I'm gonna tell her I have to resign.
- The news is gonna... - Kill her?
- Mrs. Burrows. Hi. - Can I help you?
Yes. We're, uh, doing a story on your husband's promotion.
- Wanted to ask a few questions. - I can't today.
- Lf you schedule it with his girl... - I'm trying to save you...
...from a really bad accident.
Are you threatening me?
No. No, I'm pointing out a pattern. Why do people keep thinking...
...I'm threatening them? - Because it sounded like a threat, dude.
Look, for your own good, what did you do to get him promoted?
[SCOFFS]
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Now leave me alone...
...or do I need to call Security?
SAM: No, no, no. Something's not adding up.
I'm sure we'll get a break.
Soon as we're done working...
...romantic honeymoon getaway.
[SAM GROANING]
Bring the damn car around.
I'm not walking five blocks in my heels.
[SCREAMING]
[DEAN GRUNTS]
You okay?
How did you know?
Because you're not the first. Come on.
You wanna tell us what's up here?
I was having lunch with friends...
...this guy heard me bitching, next thing I know...
...he's making me an offer. - An offer?
Craig's job for my soul.
I know, hilarious. I mean, what have I got to lose?
Well, there's your soul.
What kind of demon deal is this? Time line's whack.
- What? Demon? - Let me back up here.
You made a deal with a demon in exchange for your everlasting.
Except those are 10-year contracts. Why is the bill coming due so fast?
I don't know, but I got a feeling about who's next. We gotta find Sam.
All right, all right. Here's the plan. I drop this lady at my cousin's.
He'll stop anything trying to get her. We, uh, find Sam...
...hopefully fix this, everybody's home in time for America's Got Talent.
Now, you. You'll be living with a triracial paraplegic sniper...
...until this all blows over, okay?
BECKY: Guy, where are you?
We need to meet up fast.
I'm losing Sam.
Becky, what's happening?
Don't you remember?
We're married.
Oh, Go...
I'm calling Dean.
[GROANS]
Sam, do you feel concussion-y?
- How many fingers am I holding up? - Where am I? What is going on?
Sam, just calm down.
Calm down? You hog-tied me to...
Becky, why am I not wearing any pants?
- They're very constricting. - Oh...
Don't worry, I didn't do anything weird.
- I was helping. - Let me go.
Now!
Are you thirsty?
Or do you need a bottle to, you know, tinkle?
- It's okay if you do. I can help. - Ugh.
[COMPUTER BLEEPS]
- Finally. - Wait, what? Becky. Becky. Hey, don't.
Don't. Becky!
- Where have you been? - I got your messages. Problem?
BECKY: Big problem.
I'm at my parents' cabin.
I've got Sam tied to a bed. I'm out of elixir.
I need a refill, okay?
This isn't the honeymoon I had in mind.
Well, some of it is, but not in this context.
Is this stuff wearing off faster and faster?
Becky.
Breathe.
Do you know we haven't even consummated our marriage?
We were taking it slow because true love is forever...
...but everything feels weird now. - All right.
Meet me in an hour.
SAM: So you dosed me with a love potion.
- How...? - Thin walls.
Look, yes, I used a social lubricant.
You roofied me.
A roofie? I'd never.
We had a great time together.
- You were happy. - Oh, yeah, I'm thrilled.
- I have to go. - You know your pal Guy...
...is the one icing all those people, right?
- No, he's not. - So he's not a witch?
No. Ha, ha.
He's just a Wiccan. Wiccans are good, like Glinda of Oz.
You're not this stupid, Becky.
Whatever is killing people, it's something else.
It's never something else.
When are there ever two crazy things in town at the same time?
Guy is the creep, and you're on his list.
No. He's my friend.
No, he's your dealer.
Look, I don't know how much he's charging you...
Nothing. He gives it to me.
And he said it wouldn't even work unless you already loved me deep down.
It just activates it.
So you think I love you?
Deep, deep down.
Then untie me.
What? No.
You're still working through your emotions.
[MUFFLED SPEECH]
- I love you too. - Ugh.
On the table, next to the nametags.
Guy.
Why don't you take a seat?
Tough day?
Okay, ha, ha.
We can cut right to it if you'd like.
GUY: Uh...
Let's talk price.
- What? - Well, we're past the freebie stage...
...don't you think?
But I thought we were besties.
Oh, ha, ha, honey.
That is so depressingly Becky.
I mean, it's...
You're so pathetic it actually loops back around again to cute.
Okay. You want me to pay, fine.
Do you accept personal checks?
No.
But I will take your soul.
- You're a Crossroads demon. - Bingo bango.
[GUY LAUGHS]
I love reunions.
The desperation.
These schlubs will sign on the dotted line for money, power, hair.
Whatever it takes to impress...
...the nostalgically-bangable head cheerleader.
Sam was right.
You killed those people.
Well, for legal reasons, let's just say they had unfortunate accidents.
So, what? I hand over my soul and the next day a piano falls on my head?
No, I'd never do that to you. Promise.
- I'm not stupid. - But you are special.
I am?
Hey, I wasn't thrilled...
...to see your new hubby was Sam freaking Winchester.
If he knew I was here talking to you, I mean, he'd probably...
- Gank your ass. - Yes.
And I'm very protective of my ass. It's one of my best features.
Becky, I'm prepared to offer you a one-time-only deal.
Not 10 years.
Twenty-five.
No pianos, guaranteed.
Just Sam.
- For my soul? - And your promise...
...to not breathe a word about this to the Winchesters.
And I'll be on my merry way.
No one gets a deal like this, Becky.
Not kings, not popes.
I snap my fingers and Sam will love you for the rest of your life.
I think I'll have that drink now.
Anything?
Uh, she's got 11 Twitter-ers.
Last post.
Uh, "Going on romantic trip with hubster."
Three exclamation points.
Guess she got excited.
That look romantic to you?
Oh, hell, no.
But I got this thing about fish.
Dead eyes, man.
Heh.
Well...
...this is not how I imagined spending my reunion.
[MUFFLED SPEECH]
I was gonna show you off.
Not that anyone actually knows who you are.
Supernatural is not exactly popular...
...but you're tall...
...and nice...
...and they'd all think I was happy.
[MUFFLED SPEECH]
You're mad, I get it.
Can we talk?
I know you don't love me.
[MUFFLED SPEECH]
I know what I am, okay?
I'm a loser.
In school, in life.
- Guess that's why I like you so much. - What?
I mean, not that you're a loser, but you had that whole character arc...
...about being a freak...
...and I can relate.
[SAM GROANS]
Honestly, the only place people understood me...
...was the message boards.
They were grumpy and overly-literal...
...but at least we shared a common passion.
And I'll take it, you know?
Then I met you guys.
The real Sam and Dean.
And I started dating Chuck, ha, ha.
And everything...
...was amazing.
But you left...
...and Chuck dumped me.
I think I intimidated him with my vibrant sexuality.
[MUFFLED] Oh, God.
I just want someone who loves me for me.
Is that too much to ask?
[MUFFLED SPEECH]
What?
If you want somebody to love you for you...
...maybe don't drug them.
But I want you.
And this is the only way.
Becky.
Becky, you're better than this.
That's sweet...
...but I'm not so sure.
Becks.
You missed the party.
Yeah, well, weird night.
So, what are we thinking?
Okay.
I'm in.
You're making the right choice.
I know.
- So we seal the deal with a kiss? - Exactly.
Pucker up, sweetheart.
I'm not your sweetheart.
GUY: Becky. - Blueberry vodka.
The answer to all life's problems.
BECKY: You see that, Sam?
I did it just like we said.
I am awesome!
L...
I'll be over here.
Dean Winchester. This is really thrilling.
Hey, can I have your autograph?
DEAN: Sure.
Yeah, I'll carve it into your spleen.
So how you running your little scam?
Well, how do you mean, Dean?
Signing 10-year deals, snuffing them that week.
GUY: Well, I would never... No.
Rules of the road. Can't lay a hair on my clients.
Right. So how you cheating it?
I'm not a cheater.
I'm an innovator.
It's called a loophole, you moron.
Yes. When a person bargains away his soul...
...he gets a decade, technically.
But accidents happen.
So you're arranging accidents, collecting early.
Oh, please. White gloves, heh.
I don't get my hands dirty.
That's why it's important to have a capable intern.
[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]
GUY: What time did I ask you to be here?
[GROANING]
[DEAN GRUNTS]
[SPEAKS IN LATIN]
[GROANING]
Becky, run.
[GROANS]
[GASPING]
[GROANING]
Whoa.
[GROANING]
[PANTING]
How many deals you got cooking in this town?
Fifteen.
Yeah, well, call them off...
...or I'll cut my own loophole in your throat.
Oh, crap.
Yeah, you said it. You're in a world...
CROWLEY: Hello, boys.
Oh, crap.
CROWLEY: Sam, mazel tov. Who's the lucky lady?
You're Crowley.
And you're...
Well, I'm sure you have a wonderful personality, dear.
Ah, another step and I'll Columbian necktie your little friend here.
Please, don't let him get off that easy.
- Sir, I don't think that you... - I know exactly what you've been doing.
A little birdie named Jackson...
...sold you out.
E-mailed all the juicy deets to my suggestion box.
I assume that's my whistleblower.
Shame.
Had a future.
Unfortunately, you don't.
- I was... CROWLEY: I only have one rule.
Make a deal, keep it.
Technically, I didn't...
There's a reason we don't call our chits in early. Consumer confidence.
This isn't Wall Street, this is hell.
We have a little something called integrity.
If this gets out, who will deal with us? Nobody. Then where are we?
- I don't know. CROWLEY: That's right. You don't.
Because you're a stupid, shortsighted little prat.
Now, hand the jackass over. I'll cancel every deal he's made.
- What are you gonna do with him? - Make an example of him.
Fair trade, right? We'll go our separate ways.
- No harm done. - Out of the goodness of your heart?
Years of demons at your heels, haven't seen one for months.
- Wonder why? - We've been a little busy.
Hunting Leviathan. Yes, I know.
That's why I told my lads to stay clear of you meatheads.
- What do you know about...? - Too much.
You met that Dick yet? Smuggest tub of goo since Mussolini.
I hate the bastards.
Squash them all, please. I'll stay clear.
Rip up the contracts first.
Done and done.
Your turn.
No, no, no.
Let...
Pleasure, gentlemen.
What'd I miss?
It...
It wasn't all bad, right?
Okay, you did save my life...
...and for that, thanks.
So I'll see you again?
Yeah, probably not.
Becky...
...Iook, you're not a loser, okay?
You're a good person, and you've got a lot...
...of energy.
So you know what? Just do your thing...
...whatever that is, and the right guy will find you.
No.
Well, buddy...
...I gotta say, man, you, uh, don't suck.
Thank you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Well...
Oh.
Yeah. Ha, ha.
All right, that's...
Thank you.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Take care.
Wow.
- Aw, you made a friend. - Uh-uh.
Look, man, uh, ahem...
...when I was all dosed up, I said some crap.
Oh, you mean she wasn't your soul mate?
Shut up.
I mean, I do need you watching my back.
Obviously.
Yeah. When crazy groupies attack.
You know what I mean.
I gotta say, man...
...for a whack job, you really pulled it together.
That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me.
[BOTH SNICKER]
Look, don't be too impressed, man.
I'm still a Denver Scramble up here. I just know my way around the plate now.
I'm just saying...
...it's stupid to think that you need me around all the time.
You're a grown-up.
Right.
You're a hike-in-the-desert, hippie douche grownup.
Ha, ha, dude, I was camping.
- You camp. - Yeah, whatever, hippie.
You know what, though? Seriously? It might be nice.
- What? - You've been looking out for me...
...your whole life.
Now you finally get to take care of yourself.
About time, huh?
Yeah.
Right.
[Ripped by stlc8tr - 2012.10.05]